THE MISTAKE WE ALL MAKE !
Believing Our Thoughts and Emotions Are Who We Are
“You are the sky. Everything else is the weather.” – Pema Chödrön
A quiet moment arrives, often without warning, when we see how much our inner feelings have been in control.
For years, I didn’t see it.
A quiet hum inside me whispered you are not enough... be careful… do not get it wrong. It moved with such softness that I never thought to question it;
I lived inside it.
I would automatically shrink, over-give, over-think, trying to outrun the discomfort.
It felt like truth; it wasn't, it was the weather of the mind, a passing storm of thoughts and emotions.
Mindfulness gently shows us what many of us were never taught:
Thoughts and emotions are experiences, not identity.
They come and go, but who we are is much bigger and unshakeable and peace begins when we stop mistaking the weather for the sky.
Why We Get Caught (And Why There Is Nothing Wrong with Us)
The mind is a powerful storyteller. It remembers, predicts, solves, protects and when strong feelings mix with stories of anxiety, shame, hope and excitement, it becomes very convincing. “I feel anxious” changes to “I am an anxious person” and in time this repetition becomes a false identity.
We start believing we are the storm and from here the suffering follows rumination, shame, comparison, fear, yet we are not broken.
We have simply forgotten to look up… and notice the sky.
The Space Within That Never Changes
Mindfulness awakens an inner seeing, the ability to witness rather than become and we all have a presence inside us that’s always there. It is a steady awareness that can feel grief without drowning, notice anger without reacting and sense joy without clinging to it.
This awareness is not passive, it is pure strength and when we live from it, we stay true to ourselves even in chaos. We remember that thoughts are echoes, not commands and emotions are messengers, not definitions.
We are not the storm… we are the sky it moves through.
When You Get Stuck (Because You Will)
This is not about perfection; it is about remembering and gently returning to our true selves.
I invite you to try this the next time a strong wave rises:
Notice – Gently name what is here: “Ah, worry.” Naming breaks fusion.
Pause – Breathe into the moment. No fixing needed. Just space.
Witness – Ask, “Who is aware of this?” Feel yourself come home.
Let it pass – Weather always moves. You do not need to act from it.
With practice the truth becomes embodied: I have thoughts… but I am not my thoughts. I feel emotions… but they are not who I am.
From here, we can learn to stop scrambling for validation, stop defending ourselves, stop spiralling into old patterns. We can start to live from presence — and this is where calm begins to grow roots.
You Do Not Need to Get Rid of Anything
Let me be clear. The goal is not to stop thinking or erase emotion, as that is not actually possible and it is certainly not mindfulness. The practice is simply to change our relationship with what arises.
When we no longer confuse passing weather with our true nature:
Sadness can visit without defining our day
Doubt can whisper without derailing our path
Anxiety can surge without taking the steering wheel
You remain… the sky, clear, awake, already enough.
Peace is not something to search for; it is already within you. It is what you return to, lying beneath all the chaos around you.
Moment by moment
Breath by breath
Pause. Breathe. Be
💡 ADHD-Friendly Tip: When emotions seem overwhelming, try a quick “reset” phrase “This is just a thought” or “This feeling will pass.” Keep them in a visible spot to break spirals and help you maintain awareness.
🧘 Non-Identification: I am not my thoughts or emotions. I am the awareness through which they move.
FAQ
Q1: What does “you are not your thoughts” mean?
It means thoughts and feelings are experiences that arise and pass. Your deeper awareness is stable and does not need to fuse with them.
Q2: How do I stop identifying with emotions?
Notice and name what is present, pause and breathe, feel your body, then allow the feeling to move without acting from it.
Q3: Is mindfulness about stopping thoughts?
No. It changes your relationship with thoughts, so they do not drive your behaviour.
Q4: Can this help if I have ADHD?
Yes. Short, repeatable steps and cue cards like “This feeling will pass” can break spirals and support regulation.
