MAYBE WE DON’T NEED THERAPY !
Understanding How the Past Shapes Us and How Mindfulness Helps Us Let It Go
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” Carl Jung
The Story
I met a woman in a small shop in Portugal a few weeks ago.
We got chatting and she was telling me about her daughter, who loves swimming and told me she takes her down to the water most days; however, she herself can not go anywhere near the water.
She explained to me that when she was four, she fell into a pond and her dad jumped in and pulled her out. From that moment water became something to fear and her father became her safety, sadly he passed away last year and since then the fear has grown stronger.
I was really surprised when she said, “I think I need therapy to get over my fear of the water.”
Me being a teacher of Mindfulness and Inner Peace I know that this is not always the case, so I said gently, “Maybe you don’t.”
I suggest to her, that “Maybe you just need to let go now, as you are no longer that four-year-old little girl. You are a beautiful, strong, capable mother and maybe it is time to let that go and start a whole new story.”
Where she works there is a beautiful fountain right out side and so I asked if she ever sat beside it? She said no!!
So we talked a little longer and I wondered if that maybe it might be a great place to start. I said, “perhaps tomrrow if it feels right you could simply try and put a finger in the water?”
She smiled and said, “you never know.”
I popped in the next day and was so overwhelmed when she came up to me and said, “I did it, I put my hand in the water.” She was so happy. Of course she told me she was nervous, but she kept telling herself that she was not that 4 year old anymore and she was brave and capable and now had a choice to let it go, just like we talked about.
So no, she did not need therapy in this moment, only to connect to the awareness and realisation that she was no longer that frightened four-year-old and that moment gave her an opportunity to make a new choice.
A Small Story with a Bigger Point
This is a simple story I know and I do not want to detract from the understanding that his over the yeas had caused her great pain, well her own attachment to it had. Or that deep suffering does not deserve care, time and support, yet what struck me was how quickly something can shift when we see ourselves differently or choose to tell a different story.
And this is the space where mindfulness and inner peace coaching truly sit.
Mindfulness and Inner Peace remind us that it’s not about pretending hard things didn’t or don’t happen, they teach us to remember / come back to, who we are beneath it all.
We are not the body
We are not the ego
We are not our looping thoughts
We are consciousness itself, the awareness witnessing it all.
When we begin to see life from that place, everything starts to look and feel different.
We stop identifying with the old story - (it has no place in the here and now).
We stop living from the wound - (why keep bringing the hurt and pain into this moment?)
We start to watch life unfold instead of feeling trapped inside it - (no longer shaped by the past or afraid of the future).
That shift from suffering to witnessing is quietly transformative and opens a door to inner peace that no longer depends on fixing the past.
Why So Many of Us Still Chase Healing
Therapy absolutely has its place and of course for some, it is essential and if you need therapy, DO NOT STOP! But it can also become another place we stay stuck in the story, trust me I know!
There are currently around 3.8 million people receiving mental-health support in England and private therapy can easily cost between £50 and £150 a session.
For many, therapy lasts weeks or months, even years or a lifetime and often the story is still there.
That is because talking helps us understand, but awareness helps us release.
Practicing Mindfulness and Inner Peace helps us focuses on that release: teaching presence, personal responsibility and conscious choice.
The Real Work of Letting Go
Even in the hardest situations, there is still one quiet freedom left: the freedom to choose.
To choose what we carry
To choose how we see it
To choose who we are in this moment
To choose to simply let go
Yes, it really can be that simple, if we allow it to be.
Like switching a light on or off the power was always there, waiting for our awareness to make the move.
When we begin to live as awareness rather than identity, the past starts to loosen its grip.
We don’t have to forget, or even agree with what happened, we just stop feeding it once we become present and have the awareness of it.
This is what I saw with the woman and the fountain. One small brave act, one huge shift in consciousness and her world opened a little wider.
Reflection Box
Pause here
If something from your past still lingers, ask gently:
“Is this happening now, or am I remembering?”
”Is this true of now?”
“What would it look like to meet this moment as consciousness, not the story?”
It is about becoming aware of the real truth of any given moment and not the story we tend to attach to it, so I invite you when you are ready, place your hand in your own version of that fountain. Not to fix anything, simply to remember who you really are.
Because healing is not always a deep dive, sometimes, it is just touching the water and realising you are consciousness here now.
If you are struggling in any way with mental health, please get in touch with your GP in the first instance and know that Mindfulness can help support you through your journey. You are never alone!
Pause. Breathe. Be
